He inexplicably falls in love, swears so much in a bid to look tough that he would annoy freedom of speech activists and has a very quick change of heart, bouncing from ‘I don’t give a f*** about anything’ to ‘I must act the honourable hero’ once the prospect of romance is on the cards. Dante Noire has a habit of stumbling on each and every cliché convention whenever one shows its head. Considering in such circumstances characters can usually become a games’ saving grace DmC has already burned a few bridges on that front. It’s a story that seems to attempt a break in some form of social commentary at points, and the heaven and hell mash-up feels like something we’ve all heard before. Lifting the veil from Dante’s eyes to reveal a world run by demons and evil like some sort of combination of The Matrix and bloody pus, Vergil and his booty call Kat convince him to join their tiny ragtag group of freedom fighters to not only rid the city of underworld assailants, but learn more of Dante’s bastardised origins that would make even Jeremy Kyle squirm…and perhaps figure out why he’s grown into such a tit. Drawn into a life of drunken debauchery, he’s suddenly given purpose through the meeting of his brother Vergil. With the reboot button firmly held down, Dante is leaping on the faces of fans edgy buzzcut in tow in a bid to massacre as many demons as he possibly can. So, I enter the 2013 reboot DmC: Devil May Cry as an impartial observer…although after 5 minutes with Dante I feel like more of a social care worker. I found the previous iterations gothic settings a little bit draining, I didn’t get along with any characters and disconnecting myself with the former series made me feel like I had the soul drained from me by Dante himself.

The uproar made when a new Dante walked onto the scene to drag a reboot into masses of red mist powered fans has been the games’ most powerful marketing march for the past year, but the fact that I couldn’t see what all the fuss was about made me feel even more hollow. Whilst my soul is as hollow as the contents of the minds of the entire Geordie Shore cast combined, it’s surprising that I can feel even deader inside.

Dmc devil may cry ps3